What goes around, comes around…

"Amma tell him that I would never want to see his face again!” I yelled and cut the phone. That night and the following three weeks I did not talk to anyone. I locked my self in my room, no calls and no sms, the only thing I used to do was weeping and cursing my dad. Yes, I cursed him for whatever he did to my life. I lost my love; Sahar and I believe he was solely responsible for the mishap. All my dreams, my aspirations everything shattered and I did not want anything anymore.

After my fourth semester exams, I got a call from Ani that Dad is serious. Believe me or not it was hilarious to hear that. You took my life Dad, now see how god punishes you, I said to myself. Ani told that Dad wants to talk to me but I cut the phone. After a weeks time, again, Amma called up and asked me to come back. I retorted and told her that I did not want to spoil my career and life for someone and I would never come to see him. Yes, I had become brutal but what else you can expect from a broken heart whose Love life was ruthlessly killed by his own Dad.I am not a god, I am a human being and I don’t believe in forgiving merciless people.

On the Christmas day, Ani called and told that Amma got admitted and wanted to see me. I was shocked. Ani, my sister and Amma were the only people I was living for. Fortunately my exams were over and I packed my bags to go back to India. I went straight way to hospital to see Amma.

She embraced me and cried. She said she is fine now but she wanted me to see dad at least for once. Dad was in the ICU.I asked Ani to come with me.Ani said she needed to have a talk with Dad's Doctor. I still did not want to see him anyhow I entered the room. I couldn't recognize dad and I thought that I entered the wrong room. It was Dad. He lost his hair, looked pale and skinny. I am sure if I had seen him anywhere else I would have never recognized him.

I could not hold my self, burst out with tears. That day evening dad expired. Amma said he was waiting to feel my presence. I felt the pain but it was not so strong and anyways I did not want to kill my self by thinking about the past. I always believed, life has to move on. I had my responsibilities, Amma, Ani, Dad's factory, home, everything. So, no looking back.

Days passed by and life became much easier to live. I was happy because I had my family. After Ani's marriage Amma wanted me to get settled. I was always against marriage but the moment I met this girl I fallen in love. Soumya, she was a gem of a person and I could not find a single reason for not marrying her. Everything was going perfect and I found myself to be the most fortunate person in the world without much worries in life. I had everything that I dreamt of. Love, money, happiness and peace, my life had all the ingredients.

Life is all about ups and downs, so even I wasn’t spared. Some serious issues came up in the factory. Work pressure and tensions in the factory became so intense that it started affecting my relations with Soumya. She became obnoxious for every little thing and our relationship started becoming an obligation. I started staying late in the office which made her more agitated. But before the situation got worst, Soumya got pregnant. Everyone including me thought that everything will be at the place and with the birth of Ria my relation with Soumya will be rejuvenated.

But I was wrong, I lost the love for my wife and gradually I was going away from her. And then our relationship reached a stage where we had to get separated. Before separation she told that she did not want to keep Ria with her. It was a blessing in disguise. I was obliged to her for not taking my life from me. I know I couldn’t survive without Ria.

The day after Soumya left, Amma came crying to me. She gave me a letter, which she found in Ria's room. The letter said that I was the reason for us to get separated and that I was so brutal to my wife, which made her to leave us. I was speechless. I rushed to her room and begged her to come out but she did not. I knocked the door little harder but she said “Get lost Dad I hate you! She then yelled and said,"Amma tell him that I would never want to see his face again"!

How could she even tell this to her Dad? How could she? She doesn’t have the faintest idea of what she means to her Dad. It was so harsh; I could not take those words. I was helpless I couldn’t stand my baby crying and cursing me for the sin I have not done…

While I was crying,Amma came to me and said"Atleast now you understood how it feels when your own child hates you for something you are not responsible for"!I literally felt like telling her to leave me alone.But I couldn't because I know she was right.And today I am feeling the same pain Dad has gone through.

I know its too late but forgive me Dad...